Finding me.

(Sigh).. oh where do I start? So much has gone on in my somewhat parallel 'episode-of-EastEnders' life! I resigned from my long term NHS job in April this year, after a roller-coaster maternity leave and two year career break. I decided that it would be wise to leave my job to fully commit myself to take care of my ill-daughter who needs my 110% undivided attention around the clock day and night. It was a difficult decision to make but I think it was the right decision in the end. All these worries would flood my mind... Who will pay the bills? how will we put food on the table? How will we cope? ...But you know what; somehow, with the almighty God's help and blessing - we're just about keeping well and heads above waters.

I realised in the midst of crying babies, and beeping hospital machines that jobs come and go, but when you see your dearest baby child struggling to breath in your arms whilst sat on the hospital bed; nothing else matters anymore. Life in itself becomes such a precious thing, often taken for granted. This is why I took the decision to let go of all my ambitions, dreams, desires,... (who on earth would do such a thing) but inadvertently I left scarcely clinging on to the most important thing. Hope.

Hope that one day, my baby daughter will get better in time. Hope that one day I'll see that light at the end of the tunnel. Hope that all this struggle and pain is finally rewarded. Hope that one day that grey cloud that lingers above my house, shines it's silver lining.

Anyways.. on a lighter, matter-of-fact note. I moved home in July 2010. Away from the busy high-rise, sky-scraper, metropolis area of Canary Wharf. Away from those 'so-called' posh but plastic, plaster board, non-sound proof tower blocks with their all inclusive equipped state of the art cinema, gym, sauna facilities all under one roof (and breath!) Of course I had my own dentistry at the bottom of my block and a nice Lebanese restaurant which faced the docks and yes, one other thing I had below my residence was ...yes, you've guessed it... a 6am to 11pm Tesco Express! Yey! (Being sarcastic of course, but for a mum of two - this was pure heaven!)

Oh how I miss my morning aroma of fresh all-butter croissant travelling up my balcony and into my bedroom windows. How I miss my morning visit (some times in my PJ's) to get the first loaf of bread of the day. I equally miss that near mid-night trip to get that indulgent Low Fat Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake Ice-cream to eat just before bed.... Mmmmm!

Somehow despite the many advantages in that home, it was also time for change. Moving address, felt like a breakthrough. It felt like turning over a new page... a new chapter in my life. Leaving all the happy and sad memories that reigned in that house to making new memories in the new home.

"New home ... New me" was my mantra during my transition to my new home. I felt I found my self again. After months and years of running up and down the corridors of the hospitals, clinics and wards. Going from one hospital to another. Speaking to a doctors here, a nurse there. A consultant here and a surgeon there. A physiotherapist here, and a social worker there. My sole vocabulary and contact was with a cauldron of professionals. I was wearing many hats at one time. One minute I was a mum, a wife, a nurse, an advocate, a lawyer, a judge, and even had to play God (metaphorically speaking of course). "Please sign the consent form on the dotted line" the doctor's would say as they informed me of the pros and con and possibilities of my daughter surviving her operation. To me the surgeons might as well be asking me to tick a box! "Let live or let die!" What a terrible position for a mother to be put in. All I wanted to do was scream!

Finally months gone by and I eased into my normal yet abnormal life that I led. I gradually found my self again. All these years I felt my feet were running out of ground and I now I felt well-grounded then ever. I realised that I needed to depart myself from this madness and pick my self up. Don't get me wrong I love my daughter to bits but in order to look after one self that person must look after itself! Otherwise I would not be no good to my child if I couldn't put a smile on my face everyday I woke up.

Things are looking up; nearly finished decorating my homemade home, just adding my finishing touches. Attending dressmaking workshop on Mondays, brushing up on my Arabic on Thursdays and going to the gym, cycling and jogging once a week. My eldest daughter is going theatre class to boost her confidence levels and to release the diva within her. My youngest loves school and is improving slowly but surely. I'm enjoying motherhood and being a wife to my monkey of a husband which I love to bits! I'm also trying a dab hand at crafts and sewing which I'm enjoying very much and getting quite a pro at. Thinking of starting my own business and also when it couldn't get any better; I have a writing proposition come my way too; hopefully will be writing for an upcoming new newspaper. So wish me good luck coz I'm gona need it! x

Vintage Couture

I love the current autumn / winter 2010 vintage trend. You can look both elegant, chic and trendy all at the same time.
The key elements needed to wear vintage are: floral, lace, paisley, polka dots, checkers, bows and ribbons, fringes, headbands worn in a hippie style, ruffles, pleats, tops / sweaters with flared arms, capes, high waist, anything that your grandma or grandpa used to wear!

Must accessories to add are: large brooches, trinket, lockets in a long chain, distressed leather belts and floral scarves.

THE VINTAGE LOOK:
Capes, caplets, cloaks, shawls: Adds instant elegance, and works cleverly with Gothic rock-chic looks. Vintage fur-trimmed are the pinnacle of elegance. There are some quirky, flirty, clown-inspired frills on the neck capes - but personally I'd rather keep well away from them!
Chunky knits: There's chunky knits and there's super-chuncky knits. To achieve the cosy vintage look - you will need either a chunky cardigan, a chunky street-style scarfs or a gorgeous jumper dress. Of course never do the mistake of wearing them all at once - otherwise you'll look like a giant woolen sheep! Add a belt if you want to nip in at the waist and wear with some comfy denim jeans.
Tights and stockings: I don't think those sheer fabric tights will ever go out of fashion. You can experiment with colours and and create you own personalised look. You can wear bright colours like blue, purple, navy, red to dress more quirky 70's vintage, or wear either black or cream/nude for a more subtle vintage look. Finally if your brave and can carry off the complete look - then opt for those 'lines down the back of you legs tights' for that je ne sais quoi.

See-though clothing: Subtle sheer fabrics like chiffon and lace allow some peek-a-boo but don't call out 'look-at-me' is a must. Delicate drapes adds texture, layering, movement and femininity. Lace gives the illusion of elegance and mystery.

Military fashion infusion: With pointed, pleated shoulder design and exceptional tailored design - no wonder the military look is still going strong. I think its an great idea to fuse vintage with military inspired band jacket à la Micheal Jackson.

The female dandy: A step up from the tuxedo and military fashion. Rooted from Great Britain's regency era. It screams elite, high status and wealth. Wear high collars, ruffles and bows blouses, cropped slim-cut jackets, waistcoats, tailored vest, frock coats, cliched waist and large brooches for added impact.

Remember pick one vintage item at a time - and let it be your centre piece. If wearing a boho dress - keep accessories simple. Plain jewellery and a leather bag. Add a modern twist by teaming with a plain belt, skinny jeans, plain cardigan and gladiators shoes or normal shoes.

...One day we'll all be Vintage! :)

If I was a boy?

Now this isn't a dig at the MALE of the species, so please don't get me wrong if your a male reader. Try to take it light-heartedly...

It's true what they say: "Men. You can't live with them and you can't live without them!"

"NOT FAIR!!!!!" Men/Husbands can just wear their clothes, grab the car keys and GO, whereas us Women/Wife/Mothers have to ensure the cooking, laundry & housework are done. Women have to get themselves ready as well as get the kids ready who coincidentally decide to have a tantrum at that precise moment; making it a mammoth task just leaving the house!!

And the men (not all men… the guilty men - u know who you are!!!!)…. just sit on their fat (or skinny) behinds watching TV or doing something pointless instead of helping you get the kids ready!!!

Every wondered why the Wife is running around the house and ignores or does not hear the husband’s request for a cuppa tea? ... it is because she’s reciting in her head:……

"Nappies: CHECK! Baby wipe: CHECK, Baby food: CHECK, Baby Milk: CHECK, Bottle: CHECK, Toys: CHECK, Extra clothes: CHECK, Extra Bibs: CHECK, Dummy: CHECK, Calpol & Medicine: CHECK, Pushchair: CHECK, Baby: CHECK!!!!! Windows shut: CHECK, Lights off, Heating off, Cooker/Oven off (NOT burning the house down: CHECK!!), … Brain cells left in the end: ZERO!!"

Often women do their make up in the car (and yes we’ve all done it at one point) That’s why us women have mastered wearing mascara and lip gloss whilst the husband drives @ 50 miles/per hour!! ... As always men blame their wife/girlfriend/partner for taking so long to get ready and then blame us for being so forgetful.

The truth is that we’ve had to remember & do a BILLION things just before leaving the house. And guess what us ladies always forget? Yep, your purse and mobile! ….Aaaarrrggghhhhh - the agony!

Just having a moan about men moment. It's good to let it out once in a while.

Fellow Ladies - your comments most welcome!
Men - comment if you dare!!

Love from *Asma* - (I'm really a nice person ....Honest!!!)

Boyfriend or No Boyfriend - Make a statement

I was going to post this ages ago, but was too nervous so I finally decided to make the plunge and post my first blog. I'm a new bird to all this blogging - so please go easy on me. Anyways enjoy...

I must say, I love the 'Boyfriend Jacket' look. Who would've thought this boyish image would catch on as a trend? As women we are so lucky, that 'mens' clothes look just as good on us as they do on the men that it's made for! In comparison, we briefly saw the male skirt/sarong but this was short-lived and did not catch on as a trend that everyone could carry off, except Beckham and the Scots of course! As for men - there are certain things you species just can't get away with wearing (Sorwi)
Anyways back to the subject, this boxy, loose-fitting blazer on women may look like a subtle form of cross-dressing but let me assure you it's not. Celebs of the likes of Keira Knightley, Kate Moss, Sienna Miller and the Olsen twins have been spotted sporting this Boyfriend Jacket look.

I tell you- it's an instance confidence boost as soon as you wear it, and the best bit is - you don't have to be an office worker or executive or even have a BOYFRIEND! Whether you're at a meeting with colleagues at work, hitting
the shops in town with your friends, or at an evening party - this jacket is what you need, it's so versatile.

Remember you can't go solo... oh No... as much as the BF jacket is a statement piece in it's own right, it still requires dressing up or down.

PAIR and ACCESSORISE is the rule!

At the office: keep it smart - team with a white blouse, wide leg trouser and silk scarf.

On the town: keep it relaxed, casual and edgy - add some chunky bangles, scarf, and pair with skinny jeans or short skirt and black tight and boots.

Evening chic glamour: if you have a sparkly or all over sequin jacket even better. If not, wear pearl and/or chain necklace combos that are so this season. Add some sparkly bangles, and wear with jeans or team with a short dress, tight and some gorgeous booties!

Do you want one now? Well there's good news for some - you don't need to buy a new jacket at all. Instead of rummaging in your purse; - why not rummage through your neglected part of your wardrobe for that old work blazer that you last used or that one-off jacket purchase that you made and wore at that unsuccessful job interview! Simply roll up the sleeves once or twice exposing that beautiful splash of color from the lining, and Bob's your uncle (we know his not, it's an expression)!!!

Comments most welcome. :))))))))