Hello, I'm Inaaya Rahman...

I am not what you call a 'normal' child?  Then again what is 'normal?'  A normal child may play peek-a-boo and it will put a smile on your face.  I do other things indescribable to the average person and can still put a smile on my parent's face.  I am a human first and foremost. I look the same as you; I have a head, a body, two hands and two feet. I eat, laugh, sleep, cry and smile and believe it or not I even talk but in a language you can never know. I am only different by the way you view me.  My personality, habits, little traits and idiosyncrasies make me who I am. My parents who live and breathe everyday with me can only see this in me.  Whilst you sit and chat to my mum about me and not to me. I've just sat and ignored you like you've just ignored me.  However my intentions are innocent because I hadn't even noticed you entered the room as you had not said hello or stroked my arms.  Did you stop a while and regard me as another person or as inanimate object without feelings? Hmmm I wonder?

My mum wears noisy bangles and shiny rings not only to make herself look nice but also that I may hear and see her as she approaches me.  Even when she feels unwell she makes an effort for me.  My mum wears outlandish or sometime quirky clothes; it helps me catch her sight from afar even though I may sometimes disagree with her taste! My mum has a loud voice and can speak for England; she's loveable, socialable and always smiling even in the hardest of times. I wonder if any other mother would give me such joy, love or the time of day. I think not.

My dad is a 'man of few words' who I guess compensates for my loud mum. If both were loud - I'd be confused.  His voice is soothing yet has a bass tone to my ear drums. When he cuddles me; I know it's my dad, he has a different scent.  I tug at his evident ears and almost always my dad takes my hands to his face to feel his stubbles with the palms of my hands. I giggle to the feel of it and oh how I love the prickly feel.  This is the way my dad says 'hello' to me and I say hello to him.

Another little person lives in my home.  Often I hear tantrums and shouting, especially I enjoy it when she sings. Yes, she is my older sister.  She wears bright coloured glasses, bright clothes and shiny hair clips - easy for me to see (and grab!).  She plays with me and cares for me like any big sister does.  She gets rather upset when I pull off her glasses and pull her hair but I'm just saying 'Hi, big sis... it's me'.  She is not upset for long and smoothers me with kisses and hugs.  We enjoy quality time together especially bath time when I can get to splash her with water, and anyone who knows my big sister - is that she's such a drama-queen especially if she gets shampoo and water in her eyes!

I'm saying all this because I want you all to open your eyes.  Don't just look but 'see' and understand.  I was born like this for a reason.  What you think is joy from having a child is a different joy my parents get with me.  You count the milestones of your child's first smile, first teeth coming though, first solid food eaten, first time crawling, first time standing unaided and first steps, but mum sees all that and more.  My first eye-contact, first reaction to toy, touch, skin, face, sound and smell.  My first time rolling onto side-sitting, first time putting arms out to save myself from falling and the first time I held my tooth brush but not nescessarily to my teeth! My first time achieving to swallow a spoonful of puree food without sputtering all over mum.  My first time reaching for the spoon and my first time holding the beaker without any need for prompt.  My first time grabbing a rattle and shaking it, my first time hearing strange sounds like the hoover, the washing machine, the TV, a car hooting and a rainy storm. My first attempt to balance to sit, first time 4 point kneeling to crawl, first standing with the help of mum, first potential to raise feet to step forward and I’ve not even got to the first walking bit yet!

Normal children’s' parents remember their child's first day out.  To the park, the shopping centre, the farm and the museum.  My mum does that and more.  I also remember my first meeting with the wind when the breeze overwhelmed my face; I squinted and caught my breath and smiled with sheer delight.  My mum took off my coat hood and let me feel the wind on my face a little bit longer... it was so exhilarating. Like any child - I've been to the park too.  Normal children will run about and play frisbee or ball.  I would on the other hand explore whilst lying on the picnic mat.  My feet feel the lush green grass whilst my hands will scratch the ridges of the wicker picnic basket. My eyes squint from the beaming sun peeping behind the leaves on the tree.  Often I grab the grass and a hopeful ant travels up my arm.  Mum will try and flick the ant away whilst screeching playfully. I also enjoy eating strawberries and ice cream in the park and sometimes just want to relax in the sun like you, like any other person would do too.

Normal children remember their first boxed toy... a tractor, an electric helicopter, a baby doll, a game or a toy puppy.  I remember all that and more.  I remember and enjoy playing with the cardboard box, the polystyrene packaging and the crunching, colourful wrapping paper as well as the toy.

While you may see the bigger picture; I and my family see the smaller things in life. It's a different joy from what you may feel or see but it still makes me and my family happy and life worthwhile.

*Thoughts by Inaaya, Age 5*